Bombardment of PotC
by Naomi the Fire Adept
Summary: Orchid-Not your everday parody! Golden Sun characters find themselves in the Caribbean with their all favorite actors Orlando and Johnny!
1. Arrival

Orchid: Hello everyone! Welcome to "The Bombardment of PotC!" This is not going to be your everyday parody, but a different. Instead of having our wonderful Golden Sun characters being the actual main actors, they are added in like extras, but not really extras.  
  
Misty: That made no sense.  
  
Orchid: I know that! But you'll see what I mean once we get started. This is actually based after a parody my friend wrote with different characters, I'm now switching it to Golden Sun peopleses.  
  
Misty: We do not own Golden Sun or Pirates of the Carribean.  
  
Orchid: Yup yup yrep! By the by, this doesn't start at the begging but after they've captured the Interceptor.  
  
~********~  
  
Chapter 1: Arrival  
  
~*~  
  
Jack: Now, while you're just hanging there, pay attention. The only things that really matter are what a man can do and what a man can't do. You can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man, or you can't. Now me, I can let you drown. But I can't get to Tortooga all by my little onsies, savvy? [turns helm quickly so that Will falls on deck; offers Will his sword] So, can you sail under command of a pirate, or can you not?  
  
Picard: I can!  
  
[Jack and Will turn quickly to see the strange man who just appeared]  
  
Jack: [raises an eyebrow] Who are you?  
  
Picard: I am Picard, Mercury Adept from Lemuria.  
  
Will: [looks around and sees nothing but water] How did you get here?  
  
Picard: I . . . [thinks hard for a minute] Orchid decided to give us a break and stick us in the movie with the actual original characters. The others should be along any time now. I don't know what's taking them so long.  
  
[high pitched happy scream heard from other side of ship. Blur of blue charges towards them]  
  
Picard: Mia! NO!!! [grabs blue blur] Mia, if you hug them to hard they'll both end up dead.  
  
Mia: Fine. [stops struggling and plops herself onto the deck from which position she stares at the two men]  
  
[Jack and Will stare in horror at the blue haired people]  
  
Picard: Where is everyone?  
  
Mia: [not taking eyes off of Jack and Will] I don't know. They were right behind me. Maybe they got lost.  
  
Picard: Oh well, we don't need to wait for them. They'll find the right spot eventually. To Tortooga!  
  
Will: Tortooga?  
  
Picard: Tortooga. Wait, no, back up, that was Johnny Depp's line.  
  
Jack: Who is Johnny Depp?  
  
Picard: Never mind.  
  
Mia: Well, we'd better get going. I don't know anything about sailing, and at this rate we'll never get anywhere. Not that I mind sitting like this.  
  
~*~Elsewhere~*~  
  
[Elizabeth whimpering in a corner. Great poof of dust and six figures appear in the room: Sheba, Ivan, Agatio, Garet, Karst, and Saturos]  
  
Agatio: [coughing] Orchid needs a cleaner mode of transportation.  
  
Ivan: [sees Elizabeth, who is staring in horror at the six Adepts standing besides her] Wait a minute! You're not supposed to be here! Don't tell me we've already missed the whole rescuing scene! How much longer until the battle between the two ships? Have you already had that fight with Will?  
  
Sheba: It wasn't a fight! He was just suddenly facing a very harsh reality, and that's hard on people.  
  
Elizabeth: [still staring in horror]  
  
Karst: [looking around] This isn't the Interceptor! This is the Black Pearl!  
  
Garet: [looks out the window at the skeletons] And they probably just had the scary skeleton chasing scene.  
  
Karst: Well how do you like that? [sits down next to Elizabeth] Everyone else is on the Interceptor with the two hottest, studliest characters in the movie, and we're stuck with the ugly guys.  
  
Saturos, Garet, and Agatio: Hey!  
  
Sheba: Saturos, Agatio, you're greasy and scaley. Garet, your just a doofus.  
  
Garet: [mutters something]  
  
Karst: and as if all that isn't bad enough, we just missed one of the coolest special effect scenes in the movie.  
  
Agatio: I think the one where they walk underwater is cooler.  
  
Karst: I said one of the coolest special effects scenes, not the coolest.  
  
Garet: So what do we do now?  
  
Ivan: I guess we wait until the rescuing scene.  
  
Sheba: Ugh! We're going to be here an eternity!  
  
~*~Elsewhere~*~  
  
Menardi: WE'RE HERE!!!  
  
[Menardi and Jenna standing alone on a beach]  
  
Jenna: Menardi! This is not the Interceptor! You said you knew where you were going!  
  
Menardi: Just like Orchid. Offers a trip to our favorite movie and forgets to give us directions.  
  
Jenna: [nods disappointedly]  
  
Menardi: [looks around]  
  
Jenna: Everyone else is on the ship!  
  
Menardi: [knocks on a tree and hears hollow sound]  
  
Jenna: They'll be wondering where we are! We've got to get off this island!  
  
Menardi: [taking lunging steps]  
  
Jenna: You're supposed to be the person who knows how to do everything!  
  
Menardi: [jumps up and down]  
  
Jenna: You're not even listening to me!  
  
Menardi: [reaches down and pulls open trapdoor] Ha! I did it!  
  
~*~Elsewhere Again~*~  
  
Norrington: Have you fixed the rudder chains on the Dauntless yes?  
  
Random Soldire: No sire, but we're working on it.  
  
Norrington: Good, I...  
  
[puff of smoke and two figures appear on dock: Isaac and Felix]  
  
Isaac: [sees Norrington] Yeah, we should have taken the left turn.  
  
Norrington: Who are you?  
  
Felix: Oh, we're just your normal, average, everyday, movie-hopping GBA characters.  
  
~********~  
  
Orchid: So what did you think? Different than what you normally read, is it as good? Please leave a review at the door. 


	2. A Long While Later

Okay, I am really bad at um.....updating....  
  
Misty: Tell me about it! You're the worst!  
  
I'm so, so, so, sorry. I'll try better. I haven't really been in a fanfic writing mood for a long time, so I'll try and make it up.  
  
Misty: That's what they all say.  
  
Shuddap! I'll try, I'll really try!  
  
Misty: We don't own nothing but a little tiny fragment of the story line.   
  
~********~  
  
Chapter 2: A Long While Later  
  
~*~  
  
Jack: Mr. Turner and I are to go ashore.  
  
Mia: WE WANT TO COME!!!  
  
Jack: No. You two weirdos are to stay with Mr. Gibbs.  
  
Mia: [very sad pouty face and sniffling] Not.....take us....... But I love you!  
  
Will & Jack: [stepping back with frightened faces] um....  
  
Picard: If you don't take us, we'll just hijack a rowboat and follow you.  
  
Jack: Fine.  
  
Gibbs: what if the worst should happen?  
  
Jack: Keep to the code.  
  
[Jack, Will, Mia, and Picard, Mia with hearts surrounding her, Will edging away]  
  
Will: What's the code Gibbs is supposed to keep to?  
  
Jack: Pirates cod: Any man who falls behind...  
  
Picard & Mia: GETS LEFT BEHIND!!!  
  
Will: Shh! We're trying to sneak up on them!  
  
Picard: [whispering] Right, we'll be good now.  
  
Will: [rolls eyes] Sure...  
  
~*~ ELSEWHERE~*~  
  
Barbossa: And who's blood is yet to be repaid!?  
  
Cursed Pirates: Hers!  
  
[Sheba, Ivan, Agatio, Garet, Karst and Saturos are hiding behind a great stack of gold, watching the proceedings]  
  
Ivan: [whispering] Garet! You're on my foot!  
  
Garet: [also whispering] sorry.  
  
Sheba: Poor Elizabeth, this has really got to be awful for her.  
  
Agatio: Hey guys, look [points behind them]  
  
[Jack and Will appear in the back of the cavern]  
  
Saturos: and Mia and Picard are with them!  
  
[Mia and Picard appear behind Jack and Will]  
  
Karst: Let's go!  
  
Agatio: [grabs Karst before she can get up] Hasn't this movie taught you anything? We wait for the opportune moment.  
  
[Will konks Jack on the head with an oar]  
  
Agatio: Now we go.  
  
[Six Adepts hurry back to Mia and Picard who are waiting patiently for Will to return]  
  
Mia: [whispering] Agatio!, Ivan, Sheba, Garet, Karst Saturos! Where'd you guys come from?  
  
Ivan: We've been hiding on the Pearl. We transported ourselves to the wrong ship.  
  
Picard: Where is everyone else?  
  
Sheba: Weren't they with you?  
  
Picard: No, they weren't. Mia and I seem to be the only ones who found the right place.  
  
Karst: Shh! This is a pivotal moment in the plot!  
  
Barbossa: Where is his child? The child whose blood flows the blood of William Turner?!  
  
Elizabeth: [remains silent]  
  
Barbossa: [pushes her off mound of gold]  
  
Karst: Okay, now we can continue the conversation.  
  
Picard: Right. What I was going to say, how are we supposed to find the others? What if they ended up in the wrong movie? I mean, if they couldn't make it here, how can we expect them to make it home on there own?  
  
Garet: Oh well, sucks for them.  
  
Sheba: But what if they got stuck in some creepy movie?  
  
Garet: Sucks for them.  
  
Sheba: How can you say that? We might never see them again! They could be stuck there forever!  
  
Garet: Sucks for them.  
  
Mia: Look! Will's back, and he's got Elizabeth.  
  
Saturos: Marvelous! We can finally get to the Interceptor.  
  
Agatio: And then it's only just a bit until the battle scene!  
  
Saturos: Man this'll be awesome!  
  
[Will and Elizabeth arrive and see the eight Adepts]  
  
Will & Elizabeth: There are more of you!? [turn to each other] You know these people?!  
  
Ivan: Can we please go? We'll have plenty of time for explanations on the ship.  
  
Garet: And then the battle!  
  
~*~Elsewhere~*~  
  
[Jenna is lying on the beach, watching the clouds while Menardi is eating beside her]  
  
Jenna: Menardi, are you quite sure that this food is edible? It's probably been in that cellar for years!  
  
Menardi: [with food in her mouth] tasfeenami.  
  
Jenna: what?  
  
Menardi: [swallows] Tastes fine to me.  
  
Jenna: Ah, I see. [looks back at the clouds]  
  
Menardi: Jenna, I've just had a thought.  
  
Jenna: Congratulations.  
  
Menardi: Why don't we try and build a fire for a signal.  
  
Jenna: Well, Being marooned on an island is a lot more interesting, even though Fire is totally awesome and the whole world should always be burning with gigantic volcanoes and hot springs, and also, the Dauntless and the Black Pearl will have a fight, and drop off Jack and Elizabeth here.  
  
Menardi: alright. Hey! I got an idea!  
  
Jenna: what?  
  
Menardi: [smiles evilly and drums her fingertips together]  
  
~*~ Elsewhere~*~  
  
Isaac: Do you have any fours?  
  
Random Soldier (the same one we saw in chapter one): Nope. Go fish.  
  
Isaac: [reaches for pile of cards but misses because they slide to the other end of the table as the boat rocks.] that's the third time I've don't that.  
  
Random soldier 1: Do ya have any Kings?  
  
Random Soldier 2: yeah.  
  
Random Soldier 1: Do ya have any fives?  
  
Isaac: yep.  
  
Random Soldier 1: Do ya have any Aces?  
  
Random Soldier 2: Yeah.  
  
Random Soldier 1: Do ya have any sevens?  
  
Isaac: yep.  
  
Random Soldier 1: Yes! I'm out! I have twenty matches! Try and beat that!  
  
Isaac: We can't. There are only 52 cards in a deck. That means there are only six matches left.  
  
Random Soldier 1: [blinks]  
  
Random Soldier 2: [blinks]  
  
Isaac: [shakes his head] Soldiers don't make good mathematicians.  
  
[Felix enters, very green and tipsy]  
  
Felix: What's going on here?  
  
Random Soldier 2: We're playing Go Fish!  
  
Felix: [groans] FISH!!! [runs to side of boat and hurls]  
  
~********~  
  
Okay, there you go! I typed really fast so there might be some stupid spelling errors. Sorry. I wanted to get it up tonight or it might never get up. ^^;;;;  
  
Misty: Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for the delay. 


End file.
